Adentures of Alex Swan
by Cherry Rowell
Summary: Alex is the brother of Bella Swan. He's gay. Which causes some (good) changes to happen to the Forks. He meets the Cullens and later the Pack. Humor/Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

Adventures of Alex Swan

Ch. 1

I groaned as I banged my head against the door. Today was so not easier.

"Bella, please open the door!"

"For the last time Alex, no!"

"I swear if there is no hot water left. Wuthering Heights will be burnt alive!"

The water stopped pouring. I quickly flew the stairs into the safety of the kitten mentally chanting _shit, shit, SHIT! _

"Hey son!"

"Hey Ch-dad─ah!"

Charlie was wearing a shirt that said 'Do it for the Gaybies' and a rainbow baseball cap that said 'Pride!'.

"So son, waffles?"

Bella came down the stairs and gawked at Charlie. I quickly dashed up the stairs before my dad could launch into a speech about I will always be his G.B.F.

The bathroom was steamy but fortunately Bella saved me two minutes of hot water. After that I stared at the mirror. I have one brown and one turquoise eye. Most girls (guys) said it was my most unique feature. I brushed my teeth and winced at the harsh mint. One day a pure soul will invent chocolate toothpaste.

**Cherry: :( **

**Aaron: Calm do─ **

**Cherry: SHORTEST CHAPTER EVER! **

**Aaron: *sweat drops* What about the others? **

**Cherry: *blushes* Oh yeah. **

**Aaron: And we have five requested stories. Preferably the spideypool one.**

**Cherry: You're right. We have to post at least four fanfictions before New Years. **

**Aaron: We don't own Twilight. **


	2. Chapter 2

Adventures of Alex Swan

**Ch.2 **

**Cherry: *smiles* **

**Jasper: So who is Alex going to love in the end? **

**Cherry: Don't know yet. **

**Aaron: *singing* No boyfriend no problem **

**Cherry: *laughs* **

**Jasper: Please review. And Cherry Rowell doesn't own Twilight. **

I followed Bella as she walked to the cafeteria. We had already fallen back into routine in which I would steer her away from "evil" walls, as she "sanely" put it.

"Here we are Alex─ow!" She rubbed her forehead.

Oops, slacking on the job.

She opened the door and walked to a table that was being stared at by many kids. I could see why. A beautiful blonde with piercing yellow eyes glared at me. I glared right back. Bitch, much? A brown, curly-haired brunette smiled at her in an attempt to calm her down. Next was a honey haired, lithe guy who looked like he was dying. Next to him was a spiky haired pixie whispering in his ear. Finally a bronze-haired Adonis with buttery eyes stared at me.

"Hey guys! This is my brother Alex!"

Blondie continued to glare. The honey hair man turned to me and mumbled. "Hello." A southern melody.

I smirked. "Howdy."

Bella and Curly laughed. Alice and Jasper smiled. Blondie and now Adonis glared at me. Rosali─ow!"

Rosalie smacked him on the arm. I turned my attention to the pixie who acted as if there were pop rocks in her blood stream.

"HEY! My name is Alice! This is Jasper! We are going to be best friends!"

I gaped at her. Who has a voice that high and talks that fast? It was soprano.

Butter Eyes smirked at Alice. "Of course you would jump at the chance of having a G.B.F."

Alice glared at Edward. "Shut up, Edward! I care about people unlik─"

She was cut off by a wild snarl that was echoed by a growl.

Bella smiled weakly. "So, Alex what do you think?"

I stared at the weird teens. "I already have some nicknames."

Emmett perked up. "What are they?"

I pointed to Rosalie, Edward, and Alice. "B.B, B.E., and K.P."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "And those stand for…"

"Blonde bitch, butter eyes, and killer pixie." I then stood up and walked to the exit.

**Cherry: Alex is so cute. **

**Alex: Thanks. **

**Cherry: *Squees* YOUR'RE HERE! **

**Aaron: *still singing* No boyfrie─ **

**Alex: *kisses Aaron* **

**Cherry: Damn it! My camera is full! Well I hope you like it! Please review! Constructive criticism please! **


	3. Chapter 3

Adventures of Alex Swan

Ch. 3

I sighed and watched Alice walk towards Bella with a box dripping glitter.

Earlier today, Alice and Emmett had invited me over. Apparently I'm one of the few cute drops of glittery awesome left in the world. Their words, not mine. But I have to say, I'm flattered.

"ALICE NO!" Bella screamed.

"Why not?!" Alice whined.

Bella just glared murderously at the "glitter box".

Alice stared at the box and then Bella. "Bella you know I've never had a hu─an experience. So please tell me why you won't let me have my fun."

"Because…"

"What?"

"Exactly!"

"ALEX!" Both girls yelled and turned to me.

Alice picked up a lipstick bullet.

"Alice I don't do cross dress." I warned.

She sighed. "I figured, but you can help me with Bella. Especially after your stunt with Jasper."

I blushed while Alice smirked. "How is Jasper?"

"Hiding under his bed."

_**THE CAR RIDE TO CULLEN/HALE RESIDENCE **_

_I shifted on Jasper's lap. The southern gentlemen looked like he wanted blush. The Volvo didn't have enough seats but Alice insisted I sit on Jasper's lap. _

"_Nice going Edward. Cramped and awkward. Classic combo." _

_ Butter Eyes turned and smirked at me. "I figured you would love your current seating arrangement." _

_I blushed furiously, but fortunately a wicked thought formed. I turned around and faced Jasper. _

"_Hey Jasper." I paused and wrapped my legs around his waist. "Maybe you could─Oh! We're here!" _

_**Back to the current time **_

I sighed then smiled. "I have been wanting to add highlights to her hair."

"Alex!" Bella screamed.

"_What?!" _I yelled back. There was a time when Bella was quiet. It was a golden age.

**Cherry: Yay! Updates are coming. **

**Aaron: We don't own Twilight. **

**Cherry: In the future I will have longer chapters. **

**Aaron: Hopefully 1000+ words. **

**Cherry: Yeah I write more on paper for some reason. **


	4. Chapter 4

Adventures of Alex Swan

Ch.4

Edward was silent as he pulled into my drive way. After giving Bella her makeover, she decided to come home later. Butter Eyes had offered to drive me home. He nudged me.

"Do you hate me?"

I was shocked then rolled my eyes. "No. I don't, jeez! So sensitive!"

He turned to me. And leaned forward.

"Butter Eyes?"

He chuckled.

Our lips met in a cool, passionate way. The first thing I realized was, Butter Eyes' lips are really smooth. He broke the kiss and slid over to my seat. Then we started again. Edward placed a hand on the small of my back. Electricity coursed through me but I also felt a venomous feeling stabbing my conscience. I was after all making out with my sister's boyfriend. I opened my eyes and saw Edward's black as coal. What happened to the melted pools of butter?

**Next Day**

I stabbed my waffle. I'm the worst brother ever! Last night was a mistake. Edward─

"Alex!"

I just need to Bella, I love her, but─

"_Alex_!"

"WHAT?!" I screamed back. I thought Forks was supposed to be quiet. "Oh." My voice was meek. Standing before me was an angry, teenage girl with silver, red, and green highlights. The doorbell range.

"Saved by the bell!" I narrowly dodged Bella's swipe at me. Racing towards the door a black Converse sailed over my head. Thank you mom and dad for not giving her aim.

When I opened the door, Alice blurred past me. Jasper gave me a shy, "Hi.", before walking inside. Already there was shouting coming from the kitchen.

"It's not that bad Bella!"

"Alice! I look like a Christmas version of Rogue!"

"Who?!"

"Do u=you even watch X-Men?!"

**School **

I was doing math when a note landed on my desk. I looked up and caught the eye of a baby-faced blonde. He winked at me.

I looked back down to my worksheet and rolled my eyes. Another note landed on my desk. Then another one. And another one. It was easy to see how this was going to play out.

Finally the bell rang. I got up and walked towards the door when Baby Face stopped me. "Did you read the notes?"

"Does it look like I read them?" I asked.

I know I'm being mean, but having at thrown at you can really PMS your day.

Bella was waiting for me by locker.

"Welcome to the gayborhood!"

"Very funny." I twisted the combination lock.

"I'm serious, there's a growing LGBT community ever since you've arrived!"

I blinked. I've only been here for three days!

Two notes fell out of my locker.

I picked them up and handed one to Bella.

_**Dear Alex Swan,**_

_** You're eyes are the equivalent to the ocean mixed a latte.─Admirer **_

I could already tell this guy was fumbling towards the end. Bella was laughing. "Looks like you've got an admirer!"

I scowled. "He just said my eyes were like saltwater coffee."

Bella laughed even harder. I switched my books. "See ya Bella!"

**Cherry: Oh my gosh! It's been forever! **

** Aaron: Yeah. Sorry the reboot of school is always fast paced and hard. **

** Cherry:*nods* Anyway, I don't own Twilight. Review please! **


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